i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
