where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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