Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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