They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
