I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have post one night stand depression
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
