I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
