im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
