mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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