Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
