I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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