So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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