Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
