u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
