Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
