yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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