she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
