Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
