Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
