so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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