I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
