I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
