If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
