Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She announced her abortion via fbk
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
