What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
