So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
