It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize