So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
