No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my liver is dry heaving
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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