I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
