yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i already hear my dad disowning me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
jump out the window naked night went bad
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