Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
