What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
