a queef is a wish your heart makes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You took a bar mat shot.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
