if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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