My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
