My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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