i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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