I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
