ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
