Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
