honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
