Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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