census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
