Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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