he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So much rum. So many feels.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
