That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
