weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
