Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
