she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have so many feelings about this burrito
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
