Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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