Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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