it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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