Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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