People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize