My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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