This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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