i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
