Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
