so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
