I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
