We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
