Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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