You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
