And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
