It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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