elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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