there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
