3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
