I want to stick my p in your. b.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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