do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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