porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize