please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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