I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
