I seem to have left my pride at pride
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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