Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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