hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
