Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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