Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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