That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
