Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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