Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
