why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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