I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
